And just as you have planted your seed in the ground, I am going to plant my seed in you.

Babies are one of my many areas of expertise growing up. I perform my own circumcision.

Boom, roasted.

Come on guys, early Worm gets the worm.

Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it's not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.

I am going to donate to Afghanistan. Ease with aids need right now. No, I mean Afghanistan ease with aids Afghani, what Afghani? That's a dog, no, that's Afghan shall wait. No humans with AIDS who ...

I have hemorrhoids.

I've trained my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command. Also, I can retract my penis up into itself.

Identity theft is not a joke, Jim millions of families suffer every year.

Never ever ever sleep with your boss. I'm so lucky that Jan and I only got to second base.

No God, no God. Please no no no no.

Tell me what you did yesterday. Nothing, nothing, yeah nothing. How was your day? I don't care how your day was Michael. Wow. Well OK I don't care how your day was either. Jan I was just asking you...

The Office Quotes Sound

Through concentration I can raise and lower my cholesterol it well. Why would you want to raise your cholesterol so I can lower it?

Well, well, well. How the turntables?

Whenever I'm about to do something I think would an idiot do that, and if they would, I do not do that thing.