Postal 2 - Audioinstants.com

A Christmas tree? Guess it's never too early to introduce a major fire hazard into the home.

A little scruffy.

Ah, I'm here.

Ah, I'm hit.

Ah, that's gonna be sore tomorrow.

Ah, there it is.

Ah, this must be the one.

Ah.

All I wanted was a Karachi for Christmas.

Allah, I'm ready for my virgins now.

And another one bites the dust.

And done.

And Joe Bob, son of Billy Joe Bob.

And now I am dying.

And one because I have ammo left.

And one because you're fugly.

And one for little Johnny.

And one for the Pope.

And one for your mother.

And one from Bobo the space monkey.

And one just because I can.

And one to grow on.

Are you fat like a little girly girl?

Are you on crack?

Art.

Ayatollah, how about some service over here?

Bite me. 30,000 more points and I get my sniper certification. You biotch.

Bless me, father, for I have really sinned. Really. I'm not kidding. Here, big Sinner. Yep.

Bring it on.

Bring your money to me over here, please now.

But how much trouble can I get into at a police station? Hmm?

But I just started yesterday.

Can anyone help you?

Can I help you please?

Close enough.

Come back here with that.

Come here, you little. Ah, there you are.

Come on everyone, follow me.

Come on, fight like a man.

Coming through.

Could you pull down your pants and let me take a look?

Damn, that stings.

Did I ask for cheese?

Did you hear someone kill that little Gary Coleman kid at the mall?

Didn't you just save?

Does my voice annoy you 2 postal dude

Does my voice annoy you?

Dollar.

Dollars.

Don't kill me, I'm a virgin.

Don't these people have jobs?

Don't you know who I am?

Edit.

Everyone's on fire.

Excuse me while I push my intros back in.

Florist.

Freak.

Fuck me, I better get home.

Fuck you, buddy.

Fuck you.

Fuck.

Gee, that wasn't so awful.

Get down if you don't want to die.

Get down or I'll put you down.

Get down.

Get the fuck down.

Get the fuck on the ground, asshole.

Get the hell out of here, you lunatic.

Go back to the donut convention. I ain't going nowhere.

Go screw yourself.

God, it hurts.

Good.

Grandma came down with the anthrax, you know.

Great.

Guess I need to get up to the top floor.

Have a nice day and please come again.

Have a nice day.

Have you heard there's some lunatic running around lighting people on fire and stuff? The police can't even stop him. Useless bastards.

He must be French.

He took my money.

He'd let him die and come again. Please.

He's got a gun.

He's killing everyone.

He's looking at my favorite Christmas tree, Earl.

Hello and what do you want?

Hello.

Hello. No, no, no, no, no.

Help me help me.

Here you go.

Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty.

Here.

Here's one for your mother.

Hey buddy, if you're not a part of the solution, you're part of the problem.

Hey look, it's Uncle Dad.

Hey you.

Hey, I know you've fallen and you can't get up.

Hey, Mr. Peep Show.

Hey, watch it.

Hey, you are stealing.

Hey.

Hi there, would you like to sign my petition?

Hi there.

Hi.

Him gonna make him squeal like a chicken.

Hmm, slow roasted goodness.

Hmm, smells like chicken.

Hmm.

Hmm. All out of cash?

Hmm. It's been a while since I've confessed. Hope I can remember everything.

Holy shit.

How could I help you pay me?

How would you like it if somebody called you a lunatic?

How you doing?

Howdy.

Huh.

Hurry up and buy something.

I bought it.

I can't believe this is happening.

I can't find any bad touch croches.

I didn't mean it. Please don't kill me.

I don't care.

I don't feel so good.

I don't think they know who they're dealing with.

I got your willies right here.

I knew it.

I need a crochet for my sick kid.

I regret nothing

I regret nothing.

I saw him a bitch.

I see you're crazy.

I'd like a hot #2 to go.

I'll use this. I will.

I'm crazy.

I'm going to find more of that good stuff.

I'm not going to the joint.

I'm really gonna bust if I don't take a piss immediately.

I'm so wrong.

I'm sorry, but you'll have to go to the back of the line.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. So very sorry.

NSFW

If I see anyone selling my blood on eBay, I will return from the dead to kick your sorry asses.

NSFW

If I see you selling this on eBay, I will come to your house and kick your narrow ass.

If it was up your ass, you'd know.

If one more of you assholes look at me, you're dead.

If there were no guns, things like this would never happen.

If you say so.

Infidel, I crashed a plane into your mother.

Is this a joke? Come back with more money job.

It was that guy's package. He's the terrorist. Get him.

It's for my mother, I swear.

It's like the apocalypse.

Jail a small slice of urine stained heaven with a little sodomy in the side.

Jaja.

Jeez, people must have been pissing on that wall for 1000 years.

Jesus, you need a little son, man.

Just call me doctor euthanasia.

Just kidding.

Kick ass.

Kieran what's that awful stench?

Krotchy

Let's burn some books.

Let's open his Christmas package early. Billy Joe Bob.

Look, we both know you have one of those toys stuffed up your ass. How much do you want for it?

Look.

Man, this apocalypse is some heavy shit.

Maybe I should have waited for him to tell me where it is. Guess I'll to find it myself now.