Mr Garrison - Audioinstants.com

A lot of pissed off people, Mr. Garrison.

All men care about his sex. I spent two hours getting ready for that stupid date and when the bastard checks out my body, he just says, hey, did you used to be a guy or something? I'm a woman now, ...

All right kids, it is now my job to teach you the theory of evolution.

All right, smart ass.

And if I'm a monkey, then I might as well act like a monkey, huh?

And shut the fuck up.

And then I go to the doctor, right? And I say, doctor, I want to go back to being a man. And he says, well, there's been too much damage. You can't go back. Where are you gonna find a penis? What d...

And you keep your goddamn mouth shut, smart ass. I'll deal with you.

And you've got better green balls.

Apparently, John Lennon's killer said he was inspired by catcher in the Rye, but he was just a kook.

As you've probably noticed, our government has decided to let anyone who wants to cross the border and screw up our country.

Bahir Hassan Abdul Hakim.

Bitch.

Boy have I been busy. Woman's work is never done. I got some tampons. I should be getting my period really soon. Hope I don't get too emotional and drive you crazy with my PMS.

But I've been told I have to teach it anyway. It was thought of by Charles Darwin and it goes something like this. In the beginning we were all fish, OK, swimming around in the water. And then one ...

But listen, I am not going to just rush into a relationship with Allison. I'm a late in life lesbian, so I need to play the field for a while, right? I'm so happy.

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But you know what makes me even happier? Sucking balls.

Come on everybody, let's get some queers and some trucks and have us a good old fashioned fag drag.

Come on, you. You're gonna have to sit in the dunce chair.

Continue.

Crossing the border with their dirty families, playing their stupid music. I mean, look at them. I'll bet not one of them is here legally.

Did I say something to you, sugar tits?

Did you ask Mr Hat?

Did you just say the F word?

Did you just take a crap on my desk?

Eric Cartman.

Eric.

Evolution is a fairy, a harebrained theory that says I'm a monkey. I'm not a monkey, I'm a woman.

For the love of Jesus.

Get an AIDS test, Thompson, because your wife's a dude faggot.

God damn it, stupid ass man. They're all the same.

God damn it.

Have you seen my penis?

Hello.

Hey, asshole.

Hi.

How to speak in English?

How would you like to go see the school counselor?

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How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison?

I can't believe what I'm hearing.

I deserve a God damn penis.

I guess I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little titillated.

I had a sex change operation, my penis is now a vagina and I'm experiencing womanhood for the first time in my life.

I know you're all pissed off as I am, so why don't we begin today's lesson on why the once great Empire of Rome fell to shit, huh? Who can tell me why Rome fell to shit?

I need to tell you something that you might find shocking.

I was the asshole.

I will give you all the money. I have to. Just try. Please, doctor. I'm a man trapped in a woman's body. I need a penis.

I'm gay.

I'm Janet

I'm not gay, I'm a woman.

It could be anywhere.

Jackal off.

Lets start the day 5x2

Maybe if you boys could keep your penises in your pants once in a while, you'd get more done.

Men are all the same. My boyfriend walked out on me. Turns out he was a fag. But I've been living it up ever since, having sex with all kinds of different guys. Girl power.

Millions of God damn immigrants are coming over the border and nobody seems to care.

Mr Garrison South Park Sounds Sound

Mr Garrison.

Mr hat.

My name is mr garrison

My name is Mr Garrison.

My penis is on the loose. If you see it, just try to catch it with some trays.

My whole life has just been one big screw up, you know?

No salmon for you.

No, no.

No.

Nobody talks to me like that.

Now you hear me? You go to hell, you go to hell, and you die.

Now, I for one think that evolution is a bunch of bull crap.

Oh my God, of course I haven't gotten to experience a period because one of those truckers I slept with got me knocked up. I'm pregnant everybody. Ohh boy. Now I can have an abortion.

Oh my God, this is a lesbian bar.

Oh, that's too bad, dude.

Ohh retard alert retard alert glass. Do you believe in a flying spaghetti monster? Two bubble head.

OK, jacking it is strictly forbidden in the Muslim religion. And what do we know about the places Muslims live, they live in.

OK, now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard.

Retarded fish frogs.

Sand. Now put yourself in the shoes of a Muslim. It's Friday night, but you can't have sex and you can't Jack off. They're sand in your eyes and probably in the crack of your ass. And then some car...

Sax.

Seems like everyone's afraid to speak the truth around here. Well, I'm throwing my hat in and saying I'll figure this thing out. Now, I might not understand politics or immigration policies or the ...

Shut up, faggot.

So there you go. You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish squirrel. Congratulations.

Sorry I'm so pissed off.

Sorry, not sorry.

Stanley.

Stop being gay.

Stop being offensive.

Tell me about it, I can't even stretch at a normal gym without some guy trying to stare down my vag.

That's enough. You're smart ass.

That's impossible.

That's just silly.

That's not how it works.

That's right.

These homosexuals think they can just step all over our traditions. Well, I say marriage is a holy sacrament between a man and a woman.

They're probably all on their periods or something.

Tom Cruise.

Trust me, you don't want this hot potato.

We build a big wall, and if anyone comes over the wall, we spammed to death too.

Well, go ahead, leave your atheist faggot. Have fun mocking God in hell, you queer.

Well, I'm sorry, but I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

Well, you're a faggot.

Wendy.

What did you say?

What's the matter?

Whatever.

Whereas Shala Gadola, metrica boula equals X and bibbity Bobbity Boo is. Why put them together and what have you got? Baby Bobby Boo X + y = y X equals zero. The song is badly written.

Why it's my penis. My penis came back, but why? I guess it's true. What's that old saying? If you love your penis, let it go.